A great big thank you to everyone who checked out any of my posts here, left a comment, shared, reblogged, etc. I can’t tell you how much your interest means to me! When I saw my Little Miss Frightmare show up on Pinterest, I almost died of shock and happiness. I’m sorry I’ve been absent for so long!! I am historically terrible about consistency and commitment, but I am trying to be less awful about that kind of thing. If you’ve liked anything you’ve seen here, please follow me to my new blog at NevermoreDecor.com. My crafts and events have gotten even bigger and badder in the intervening years; you will not be disappointed! Thank you again to everyone who supported me here at fartsandcraftsroom, and I look forward to seeing you all over at NevermoreDecor.com!
Little Ms. Frightmare
I present to you, dear readers, my most horrible creation yet (and my proudest achievement) – I’ve made a Halloween decoration that I’m actually afraid of. Behold, Little Ms. Frightmare:
I found an old Barbie styling head toy at Goodwill, something I’d been hoping to find since LAST YEAR, because the opportunity to take pretty, blonde little Barbie and turn her into the stuff of nightmares was too fantastic to pass up. For those unfamiliar with what this toy looked like before I got to her:
All it took to turn princess into possessed was paint, patience, some spray adhesive, and AGES of back-combing. The night I made this was a long one, it was well past midnight when I deemed her done. I set her on the bookcase in my living room to dry, then went to the kitchen to refresh my drink, then settle into some 30 Rock on Netflix to wind down for the night. When I turned the corner back into the living room, my eyes were drawn instantly to her empty, soulless gaze, and immediately my heart plummeted into my shoes. It was LOOKING at me. My knees went weak as I realized (too late!) that all my worst nightmares had come true, and my awful creation had come alive to eat my family. Of course, I then realized that it was just the angle, and I’m a moron. However, I am taking no chances, so until the day of our annual Halloween bash (nay, the very HOUR the guests will arrive), she is stored in the hall closet, facing the back wall. I’m still a little afraid to open that closet now though, which is terrible, because that’s where the extra towels and toilet paper are stored. I’m mostly afraid that Husband will have snuck into said closet at some point, and turned her facing out, so that the next time I go in there, I will promptly shit myself from fear. I’ve warned him not to do this under penalty of death, which was probably the best thing I could’ve done to encourage him.
Just a few more shots to give you the full effect:
She wants you to come and play… forever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
I think I just heard giggling coming from the closet. <shudder>
The Wall
Right off the bat, I want to apologize for being MIA. My work/life schedule has been filling up at an alarming rate, and I am still learning discipline. Anyway, I am still alive, still crafting. So here’s a quick photo roundup of what I’ve been up to:
I got this frame from my Grandma. Wasn’t sure how to put anything in it anyway, since the back doesn’t open, so I tried my hand at a old-school style silhouette. 
Monster eye magnets! God knows I have the bottlecaps to spare. Considering making a monster on my front door out of construction paper, and holding it up with a gazillion eyes.
I also scored this from G-unit:
I’m pumped about this thing! Especially considering our regular coffee maker only makes 4 cups, which is fine for just me and Husband, but when a party is winding down and people need to perk up a bit… THIS fantastic 32 cup wonder will prevent me from spending the last hour making pot after pot of coffee in the kitchen. I couldn’t help thinking it just so happens to be the perfect color for a construction paper Frankenstein face! My goal is for everything functional to also be decor. Anyway, turns out the color was a main selling point back in the day… check out the box:
So, yeah. It’s trendy, too. Good to know. 🙂
Also got started on another piece like the Ouija board… in the sense that I didn’t have or couldn’t get what I originally wanted, and what I made turned out to be cooler. This one is going to stay up year-round I think:
The ribbon got added because I screwed up the lettering for the next line royally. This ought to teach me to stop free-handing everything, but…eh. The text yet to be painted will say “Let him read your PAST * PRESENT and FUTURE in his crystal”. Everyone I’ve shown it to so far hasn’t recognized it, so here’s a pic to jog your memory:
Like I said, its not finished, but its a good start. The Ouija board and Professor Marvel will be part of a wall display, along with a bunch of creepy photos that I found, like this,
and this.
I got the frames up today, just to give myself an idea of what goes where and what size it will all need to be, once I find someone willing to let me use their printer. I’ve gotta get one of those someday. Here’s the wall.
Pay no attention to that green bag up top! The Great Oz has spoken! *BOOMPOWPOW*
Wouldja Ouija?
Every time I think of something I’ll need for the Halloween party, I add it to an Amazon wish list. I don’t always necessarily end up purchasing everything online, but it helps me keep track of what I need. Recently I went searching for a ouija board. I wanted one for decoration, was planning on mounting it on a wall so that no one would be tempted to use it (even though I am fully aware that it is stupid and superstitious to believe that a board game invented by Hasbro that is recommended for 10 to 15 year olds has any kind of supernatural power), because ever since seeing the Paranormal Activity movies, I refuse to take any chances. Don’t get me wrong- I looooove ghost stories. I don’t mind going to supposedly haunted places, and honestly crave a real paranormal experience. But I do not want any crazy ghostly shit going down where I live. I hate moving. As much as Husband and I rail against the people on those sort of “true ghost story” shows (not the hunters. Your magnetic field detector or whatever proves nothing. And I know that’s an intern slamming doors while you pretend to piss your pants and whisper-scream ‘Shh! Did you hear that?? Ohmygod’), the ones that won’t leave the house even though all their pets are dead, and they hear screaming in the attic all the time, and every morning the fridge is on the ceiling etc, and THEY WON’T LEAVE, we’re always yelling at the TV, like “Oh we’d be so f***ing out there, like ages ago! Stupid!”. We probably would live in denial for a ridiculously long time, because this condo is awesome and moving is terrible.
Back to the point (finally), I went looking around Amazon for a ouija board. I couldn’t find one for under $20, and that’s ridiculous. So I decided to make one instead. Behold my Thursday afternoon project:
I am 100% aware that the lines aren’t straight and that the numbers especially double in size from left to right. I guess that’s what happens when you freehand.
Valley of the Dolls
Well, I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped, but I usually overestimate the actual amount of time in a day off. Technically, its as long as any other day; but like childhood summers, they feel endless and full of vast potential and damnit, I’m going to do EVERYTHING in the WORLD, you don’t even KNOW! And of course at the end, I’m sitting there pouting, going, “It’s over? Already? How??” But, 2 cups of coffee, 1 bowl of cereal, one truly awful sandwich, and 4 (no wait…5) beers later, the day is done, and these are the fruits of my labor…
*This blog post was made possible by: Unique Stitch: for those too lazy to learn how to sew*
Hands down, best item from Mom’s craft supply donation. Fast and effective. Highly recommend.
First up, we have the ever fabulous Dr. Franknfurter of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame:
Shhh! Brad’s probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you…
like THIS??
And of course, his tight l’il backside:
Next up, Freddy Krueger!
Obviously, Freddy’s still a work in progress, but he’s getting there. I had to stop to allow his face and hands to dry. I used puffy fabric paint for his skin, which was great for the texture and greasy shine of ‘burnt’ skin, but it takes AGES to dry. So Freddy is going to chill in the drying drawer (only place safe from my meddlesome cats) for a few days, until I can feel confident that one wrong move won’t turn hours of work into a peachy smudge. I’m still debating what do to with the mouth – I’d like to give him his signature grimace, but that means trying to paint teeth approximately 1/25th the size of my pinky fingernail, so I’ll probably just take the easy way out and do a simple one-line frown. I can’t wait to finish him, he’s so close to complete, and already has a lot of personality:
Yuck. Looks like Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. That hat is going to do him a lot of favors.
I got Samara (the girl from The Ring) as far as I could without having the hair. For those unfamiliar, here’s a picture from the movie:
And here’s what I have so far:
That picture looks darker than it will actually appear once it dries. Also, ignore the pins in her shoulders; they won’t be visible once I rob some dark-haired off-brand Barbie of her tresses. Once I made the dress, I turned her upside down and applied water with a lot of blue and black paint in it a few drops at a time to the hem of the skirt, all the way around. The color seeped and ran along the creases wonderfully. Now, to hold her in place while I did this, I had to improvise…
Don’t judge. It might be Natty but it was also free. I do not generally turn down free beer, as a rule. Too many years being poor, I suppose.
Alright, last up… CarolAnne. Now, as with Samara, I didn’t have her hair. So she’s nowhere near finished, but I did get a start:
Better yet…
I know the TV looks a little orange, but that’s because I didn’t find a blue battery-operated tealight yet, so there’s a regular one inside, hence the orangeness. Other than the hair, I just have to do the sleeves on her nightgown and her fuzzy slippers. And her face, I suppose. Anyway I have just the stuff for fuzzy slippers:
Thanks Mom!
Lastly, I decided today to add another character to the roster. Dr. Frank was, true to form, an absolute pleasure; which made me realize that there are other iconic characters from horror(ish) movies that aren’t necessarily scary or even the villian. With that in mind, I present to you my newest candidate for dollification: The Mighty and Heroic Shaun.
Please comment! I love hearing from all of you! Don’t disappoint Dr. Franknfurter!
…he’s watching you.
The Haul!
The haul!!
Its just a start, but a good one. My mom also let me raid her craft room for all the paints as well as two big bags of assorted fabrics. I got started with a few props for the dolls, which will be made to look like iconic horror characters for our scavenger hunt. Here’s CarolAnne’s TV set:
The TV is made out of an old cardboard ring box. I painted it brown and cut a square hole in the lid for the screen. I cut a square piece of clear thin plastic from the package one my husband’s tools came in. I painted the static on a small piece of white paper by essentially stabbing it repeatedly with my paintbrush. I’m going to put a blue battery-operated tealight inside so that it will glow and flicker.
Here’s Jason’s hockey mask:
And here’s the start of Freddy Krueger:
I made the hat out of the cap from a cheap bottle of vodka. The brim is cut from a flexible piece of plastic. I know its not exactly a fedora, but I think especially once he has his signature maroon and brown striped shirt, he’ll certainly be recognizable as everyone’s favorite undead pervert. Here’s a better view of the claw hand thingy:
Its just a piece of the same plastic as the hat brim, painted brown of course, and the claws are broken safety pins. I cut the points off flat so no one would prick themselves. I still have to bend them out straight with needlenose pliers, so that they point out instead of up, but you get the idea.
I can’t wait to really hit this full force, I’ve been waiting to start the dolls for what feels like forever! Luckily, I have a day off tomorrow, and I can guarantee by evening I will be gleefully covered in paint and glue, and have much more to show you!
Friday the 13th (or not)
I didn’t even realize today was Friday the 13th until I saw pictures of Jason Voorhees all over Facebook, and even then it took me a minute to put it together. The Internet is a strange place, and you never know what random obsession will suddenly sweep everyone up for the day. But it makes sense that it is a traditionally spooky sort of day today, since it was after midnight last night when me and my friend Justin starting combing through YouTube for horror movie trailers, from old cult classics to films pending release. I still don’t know how or why exactly we started watching clip after clip after clip from Stephen King’s It, especially because nothing in the world is as pants-soilingly terrifying as Tim Curry as Pennywise, or so I’ve believed since I first saw the wretched thing when I was about 5. So it will trouble me to have to create a mini version of him for the Halloween Party, and have it just casually hanging around my house for a few months. <shudder>
I should explain.
For last year’s party, I made a bunch of goofy-looking voodoo dolls out of basic craft supplies and hid them around the house. The object was for the guests to find them, which earned them a little gifty bag filled with candy and mini bottles of booze, and then the doll was theirs to keep, as a sort of souvenir of the party. Due to its popularity, I’ll be doing the same thing this year. I didn’t think to take any pictures of them at the time (stupid) but luckily, a friend of mine did. These are the two he went home with:
And just for fun, here’s the voodoo altar I had set up near the front door, with Big Daddy Voodoo Doll perched atop to greet our guests:
Anyway, this year instead of my wee feathered voodoo friends, I will be making dolls that resemble various iconic horror movie characters. So far, I plan on making (in no particular order): CarolAnne of Poltergeist, Freddy Krueger of Nightmare on Elm Street, Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th, Dr. Franknfurter of Rocky Horror Picture Show (couldn’t resist), Regan of The Exorcist, Pinhead of Hellraiser, Samara of The Ring, Leatherface of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Michael Myers of Halloween, the twin girls from The Shining, the Leprechaun, Pennywise of Stephen King’s It, and just for fun, I’ll pick up a little toy shark to stand in for Jaws. I’m still considering a few others but haven’t made up my mind who will make the team. So, I will have to create a tiny Pennywise, and he will live under my roof for several months. Ugh.
The good news is that today was payday, and therefore I will be off buy my supplies for the dolls posthaste. Huzzah! Progress!
…So much for progress. I just realized its after midnight, and therefore no longer Friday the 13th. I suppose I could’ve re-written the first paragraph and the title, but… I didn’t.
Photos and Feathers
My goal today was to finish a project I’d started weeks ago. Granted, the paint did need at least two days to fully dry, but somehow I just never got back to it. This started out as a plain wood photo frame that I found in Goodwill. I love thrift stores, there is so much great junk on those shelves, just waiting to be re-purposed! And nothing says possibilities like something blank. It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do with it, but after about an hour of perusing Martha’s Halloween archives, inspiration struck. This is the picture that got me started:
And here’s what I came up with:
I assure you, it is merely a wild coincidence that my wall is also orange.
The trick was, what to do with the inside? Should I still use it as a photo frame, or should I make something more permanent like Martha’s? So this is where I halted for a good week or two. This morning, I figured out what to do with it.
What better use of a Halloweeny photo frame than to display photos from Halloweens past? That’s me as Morticia Addams on the left, my sister may or may not be throwing up a gang sign in her Catwoman costume, and …I have difficulty explaining what my dad’s costume is all about, because I’m not honestly sure myself. Some kind of relaxed and groovy gorilla man with a pink hat and a beer? Whatever it is, it worked for him, as I remember many, many years going Trick-or-Treating back in Chicago, my sister and I sprinting around our small cul-de-sac from house to house, my dad following behind in that crazy gorilla outfit.
What I found impossible to capture with my camera is the texture of the black matte surrounding the photo. It’s actually several layers of black fuzzy craft feathers, which really compliments the gorilla costume in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I didn’t have any black construction paper, but I did have feathers, so voila. 
Aaaaaaaaaannnnddddd…. dingdingding!! It glooooowwwwwsss!
I swear I’m almost out of glow in the dark paint. I won’t end every post this way.
Coasting Right on Through
Several weeks ago, the husband and I were out to breakfast. I always get the same thing – omelet with mushrooms, green peppers, cheese, please. Anyway, I don’t know who brought it up initially but suddenly we were brainstorming ideas for our annual Halloween party (to call it annual is actually rather generous of me considering this year will only be the second time). That was at least a month ago. Since then, I have become a woman obsessed. I can’t stop talking about it. I’m starting to drive everyone around me crazy. I just got so excited about some of the ideas Husband and I came up with, and I was feeling very inspired, and I wanted to start RIGHT NOW!! But our bank account wasn’t (and still isn’t) in a position to set me loose in the craft supply store. Which led me to start looking up different craft, and menu, and cocktail, and game etc ideas online, and I found a few things I WAS able to do with things I already had around the house. Which is why I started this blog. So I can stop prattling on and on to friends and family who are kind of over it at this stage, and start prattling on and on to the Internet instead. That being said, I had so much fun with the coaster project yesterday that I just kept right on rolling. I put in The Addams Family for atmosphere, made myself a shameless cocktail of whatever we had around (turned out to be shot Triple Sec, equal amount lime juice, filled rest of glass with Vitamin Water XXX. Surprisingly pretty good).
(Taken at the opposite end of my kitchen table from where I was making the coasters, which was covered (as well as the floor) with a hundred fabric and ribbon scraps, 7 different paints, a pile of old, scratched-up CDs, 3 paintbrushes, and one overflowing ashtray)
Here’s the new batch:
Bonus round! They glow in the dark!
Huzzah!
Coasters and Burritos for Breakfast
Today is a day of happy substitutions. I made the best breakfast burrito EVER due to the fact that I was out of milk (whipped a little spurt of garlic Cesar dressing into 2 eggs and cooked, rolled it up in a tortilla with 1 cut up breakfast sausage, mozzarella, and leftover couscous and veg. No milk for coffee either, so Cool Whip stood in. Amazing. Highly recommend. As long as you’re obstinately ignoring a decadent slide into obesity, like me). Due to the fact that I didn’t have the necessaries to make the million other craft ideas I had spent all day yesterday combing the Internet for, I ended up making these:
These coasters are made from old CDs, clothes I was about to get rid of, and some fabric paint. I still have some polishing up to do on them; sharpen the edge cuts and put a thin piece of plastic on top for protection, but you get the idea. These are so easy to make, and you don’t need to buy anything! Look around the house for odds and ends that aren’t currently living up to their potential, and see what you come up with. And before you say it, it is NOT too early to be making Halloween stuff. I honestly tend to struggle for inspiration UNLESS I’m working on Halloween crafts. Then I can hardly seem to keep up with myself. So you can certainly continue to expect more fartsy-craftsy posts!
fartsandcraftsroom 